While you chew on that Buggnutz, allow me to enlighten the readers on my prerelease exposure of this movie. When I first saw the trailer, my reaction was, *Aww fuck, THAT comes out this year?" and "That title is really stupid.". But strangely, the more I heard about it the more I thought it might be good. It's a musical? Cool, maybe then it won't be so self-serious. A bunch of festivals didn't like it? What the fuck do those guys know anyway? The FANS of the original movie hate it? Ditto my previous response twice over.
Um... Ummm.... YOU HATE BATMAN DON'T YOU?! REVIEW INVALIDATED! I don't hate Batman you nincompoop. I really like the Batman Incorporated comic, Batman: The Brave and the Bold cartoon, and the webcomic Batman: Wayne Family Adventures. I even enjoy the Adam West Batman Show and the Silver Age comics. He's more fun when the writer isn't taking him too seriously, but there are some darker Batman stories I like. I remember enjoying the '89 Batman film when I watched it. I just don't think he needs to be in the Superman show or in everything DC related. Now admittedly, I'm more down on the Joker character. He's very overplayed, and all anyone wants to do with him is turn him into a serial killer. A serial killer with a philosophy! So? How does that make him special? A philosophy is just a guiding opinion and EVERYONE have opinions that guide them. I'm just saying that the Joker is entertaining when he's coming up with ridiculous themed crimes for Batman, not when he's just murdering random people just because. But I get it, Murder Clown are popular and it would be even weirder to get obsessed with John Wayne Gacy.
But enough stalling! Here's what I thought about Joker: Folding Doilies.
What's The Movie About?
Arthur Fleck is on trial for the murders he committed in the first movie, and while on lock-up he meets Harley, who's Joker's stalker fan girl and they sing like six cover songs together.
What I Like.
The opening cartoon was the best part of the movie. They should snip it out, maybe make two or three more, and just release those as a fun side thing. It was basically a darker Loony Toons short, it was well animated and creative. Phoenix and Gaga are phenomenal actors, and they do not let up here. I specifically remember a scene where Arthur is practicing smiling on the way to the courtroom for the first time, and it just Phoenix mugging to the camera, but the subtle storytelling from just his facial expressions was incredible. I liked the songs, at least when Gaga was singing them. (Apparently Phoenix was sick when then shot all the singing bits, and you can DEFINATELY tell.) They actually make sense in the film since they were all written before the 80s, unlike the licensed music in the last movie. And I absolutely have to admit, I did get schadenfreude from how much the movie harped on about Arthur Fleck sucking. "Oh, you think he was a badass?" The movie says, "Well guess what? Everyone hates him! He's pathetic! He premature ejaculates, and cries, and gets beat up and has his lunch money stolen! The only people who like him like him because of the Joker persona, which he admits isn't him! While crying! And then he runs away from people just like you who want him to be the Joker!"
What I Didn't Like.
Unfortunately, hating the first movie does not save Joker: Folly of a Deuce. The sequel continues the themes from the first movie of grasping at higher concepts and deep ideas but only really come up with anything to say except "All of your problems can be traced back a woman manipulating you." It also just, misses a bunch of opportunities for easter eggs. Almost like it's ashamed to be a Batman movie. *Sips tea loudly* Harvey Dent is int he movie, he is in two scenes where violence is levied against him, and neither makes a Two Face illusion. Obviously this isn't a legitimate criticism of the movie, a movie doesn't need easter eggs to be good. So here's the major, SUBSTANTIAL problem with Joker: Fuck a Duck: The plot is structured like the Cold War. It just keeps getting worse until a psychopath puts an end to it all. The beginning set up of Arthur in prison and having to deal the asshole guards was interesting, but I kept wondering "Wasn't this a musical?". Then there's three songs back to back. And then the boring courtroom drama shit starts. I actually cannot comprehend when Law and Order: Gotham Edition is as dull as it is, especially when the character occasionally break into song.
Here are some other little things that bother me about Joker: Fight or Die. Why does the guy attack Arthur during the verdict but before the car bomb? I guess the whole point of the trial is to prove that he was competent enough to know what he was doing when killed people in the last movie, so the guy doesn't realize Arthur's unable to control his laughter? But why have that in the scene at all when everything is about to explode? If so much of the movie is beating over your head how deplorable Arthur Fleck is, why do you have a sexual assault scene, explicitly framing him as a victim? I get that it breaks his spirit and gets him to admit he isn't the Joker, but what is the movie saying? That Arthur is so pathetic all it takes is one measly rape to get him to completely reverse his conviction? Who was that kid that Arthur is hanging out with in prison? And how the hell did this movie cost 200 million dollars?! Okay, I don't dwell on the cost of movies. I think any kind of budget can make a good movie, or a bad movie. Talent and hard work can make anything artistic happen, smart people can work around whatever they are given, and incompetence will tank any project regardless of how much money you throw at it. I firmly believe that independent films and big budget movies have an equal chance of being good or bad. I don't even look at the costs of movies because I don't care. That being said, how the hell did this movie cost four times more than the first movie? They look the goddamn same! Hell, it should cost LESS, because there's only four locations in the movie! I'm honestly baffled. Does Lady Gaga cost more than Robert DeNiro or was this covering up a money laundering scheme?
There's one scene in particular that is kind of the microcosm for the whole movie. Unfortunately, it's the final scene, so spoiler time! In Joker: He's Fucking Dead Y'all, they guarantee there will be no more sequels to the movie. Which, thank fucking god, right? The problem is the way they do it. The entire movie set up Harley to be the one to take the Joker out. Like, it's incredibly obvious. I guess not obvious enough, because instead, she just dumps Arthur on The Stairs and that random kid Arthur is in jail with stabs him. Let's break this down. You want to kill Arthur Fleck because you want to shut the door on future sequels, as well as piss off the people obsessed with this version of the character. But why don't you have Harley kill him? Hell, if you did it in the scene where she breaks up with him, he would die on The Stairs and how goddamn transgressive would that be to the shitheads? Nah, instead Harley is just a manipulator because she's crazy and this kid is kills Joker because he's crazy. Probably because of a woman, right Todd?
Final Summation.
Watch this party trick I can do now: I will predict what 90% of people who claim they are film reviewers will say the worst movies of the year are and what they will say about them. Ahem.
NuMbEr ThReE; BoRdErLaNdS. hOw DaRe YoU, aVi ArEd, RuIn An InTeRnAl GaMiNg FrAnChIsE. nUmBeR TwO; jOkEr 2. HoW cOuLd YoU tUrN yOuR bAcKs On ThE tRuE fAnS wHo GaVe YoU a BiLlIoN dOlLaRs ToDd PhIlLiPs. ShAmE oN yOu. NuMbEr OnE; mAdAmE wEb. ThE oNlY tHiNg WoRsE aVi ArEd Or ToDd PhIlLiPs Is A wOmAn.
What is even the point of that joke Roan? To swing your indie "I watch more movies than you" hipster dick around? Yeah kinda, but mostly to point out how sheltered reviewers who only watch the mainstream movies that get tons of press are. Walk a day in the shoes of the guy who sat through the entirety of The Front Room why don'tcha? Joker: Finally Done is bad, yeah, and I guess I can't fault anyone really hating this movie is they were a fan of the first one. But don't act personally insulted if your killer clown movie wasn't up to your standard. Especially since we are getting another one next week!
FUCK!
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