Night Swim Review

It's beneath the surface. The saying is beneath the surface, the tagline should be 'Everything You Fear Is Beneath The Surface'. I mean this nitpick is probably the most meaningless nitpick ever, but I had to see this poster almost everyday for a month and I'm right.

Full disclosure, I am extremely picky when it comes to horror. I don't find slashers, ghosts, demonic possession, or gore movies scary usually. But even without that, I think everyone's expectations for Night Swim were low. The trailer was bad, and I think we all know the only movies that come out in January are ones that the corporate overlords have no expectations for (fairly or not). Let me put it this way. Y'know that meme of John Wayne throwing a kid in the river? Our theater put that scene in the preshow for the movie. That kinda set the tone for what people were expecting from this movie. Also that meme is ruined for me now that I have full context if that scene.

What's The Movie About?

A sick former baseball player and his family buy a new house with a pool, which seems to heal the dad but then creepy stuff happens. Because of course it does.

What I Like.

The big thing that stuck out to me was the explanation of what was happening with the pool. I won't spoil, since it's probably the only reason to see the movie, but it was kinda cool. There was also two really neat things that the pool could do, but that's tied into the explanation. I really dug the family dynamic in this movie. There was conflict, but it seemed like regular family conflict and nobody acted too cruel or obnoxious towards one another. (The sister gets kinda bitchy at one point but she makes up for it in the end.) There was a weird pool repair man that made me laugh. I'd hire him. And the editing, while nothing crazy, was pretty good. Shocking considering how bad the editing in the trailer was.

What I Don't Like.

So I liked the explanation of what was happening with the pool, but it fails to explain why the pool does what is doing the way that it is doing it. (If that make sense.) Also there's a plot hole involving a family pet that means the motivation of the villain is a lie or that the explanation is wrong. But hey, what's a horror movie without a villain with arbitrary and inconsistent rules? Now this may be a me thing, but I found the horror sequences in the pool to be more annoying rather that tension-building, although I can't quite put my finger on why. Perhaps because they are incredibly cliched. Weirdly, the middle of the movie almost becomes a inspirational sports movie when the dad realizes that he's getting better. Hey Night Swim, if I wanted to watch a Kevin Costner baseball movie, I'd go back to drinking bleach. This is absolutely a nitpick, there is a weird relator lady who isn't nearly as funny as the pool repairman but has like four times the amount of screen time. And the ending is so incredibly abrupt that it kind of made me laugh.

Final Summation.

So I learned after watching the movie that apparently it was a short film before Blumhouse bought it and turned it into a full length movie. And while I haven't seen the original, that makes a shit load of sense. The kernel of an idea is there and it's sound, but there's a lot of generic or questionable choices around it. I honestly don't even know if all that is enough for me to reject the movie, since that kernel is really interesting. Well I supposed the appropriate tie breaker for a horror movie is thinking about what scared me in the movie...

Oh. Oh dear.

Yeah the most I jumped in Night Swim was when another guest in the theater coughed. It's simply not scary. I don't even think the PG-13 is to blame, since it's clear that all the stuff that doesn't work in the movies was added to the original concept. That's the unfortunate fate of Night Swim. Maybe it should've been left alone.