Red One Review

I was kinda surprised we never got a trailer for this movie. I feel like I saw marketing for it everywhere except in the theater, although we had the poster for a very long time. All I knew was JK Simmons was playing Santa, awesome. It was starring the Rock and Chris Evans, cool. And the plot was something like a CIA guy teaming up with a criminal to save Santa from being kidnapped. That sounds like a lot of fun! But then... Then reviews came out. And they were bad. I didn't see anything specific, but it had a 34% on Rotten Tomatoes and a 36% on Metacritic! THAT'S HALF AS MUCH AS TERRIFIER 3 WHAT THE HELL.

What Is The Movie About?

Santa Claus get's kidnapped, so his head of security Cal must team up with criminal Jack to go find him. 

What I Like.

This movie was super cool! First, you should all know I love main characters who are criminals so I really liked Jack. I loved his arc with is kid and the darkest hour where he admits that he been a bad father made me cry. Cal is a cool character too, I like that he's disillusioned with the Christmas Spirit yet still the one who hardcore "We have to save Christmas!". His character arc about regaining his belief in the good in people and goddamn it I love stories like that. The acting is, of course, really good, but it's a stacked cast so I expect nothing less. I might have already mentioned it before but I like that Chris Evans is playing against the Captain America type now. JK Simmons is such a effortlessly cool Santa, it was really interest take on the Saint. I like the way he moves when he's doing his job. Everything is fluid and done with purpose. The action in general a lot of fun and really creative! There's a chase scene with the Rock sliding down a bunch of tubes to chase giant Snow Cat and then he jumps on a snowmobile and causes an avalanche and then RIDES DOWN A MOUNTAIN IN FRONT OF THE AVALANCHE HE CREATED. A magical ice cream truck comes out of the ocean and then 3 giant snow golems come out of the back and attack Cal and Jack and they had to pull of their carrot noses to defeat them. The effects are really damn cool! It reminded me of the D&D movie from last year, with a ton of magical creatures with really cool designs. There was a couple cameos that I won't spoil but they looks SO FREAKING COOL. The plot is pretty good, there was a nice twist at the climax, and I like that the movies ends with showing the audience how this version of Santa does his run. I love movies that take the Santa Claus mythos seriously, and this Red One adds a lot of creativity to the mythology. I like the ray that Cal has that allows him to shift the reality of toys, basically being able to turn a Hot Wheels into a real car. All toy stores being connected allowing North Pole workers to travels around the world is interesting as well. They could've played a little bit more Christmas carols, but the ones they did use where pretty good. 

What I Don't Like.

The dialogue is pretty meh. The exposition is fine, and when the movie slows down for an emotional moment it's pretty good. But the quips and one liners suck. They aren't egregious or anything, but they are incredibly cliched and sometimes don't always make sense. I also wish the movie paid off everything they set up. There's a part where Cal goes into a toy store and grabs a bunch of toys as supplies, and only half of them get used! Which are some of the coolest scenes in the movie as well! I WANTED TO SEE HOW THE MONOPOLY SET WAS GONNA PLAY INTO THIS!

Final Summation.

What is everyone else's problem?! Red One is FUCKING AMAZING! It's a ton of fun, with very creative action, and cool visuals. I think this is a great holiday movie, and you should check it out when you feel in the spirit!

It is interesting isn't it? How straight action movies kinda seem to getting a bad rap this year? The last movie that made me feel this excited during the showing and hyped to watch the movie again was Killer's Game, which also got terrible reviews! Even The Fall Guy, as perfect of a movie as that was, it only got okay reviews. Is there some sort of stigma against action movies I wasn't aware of? I don't even know the angle this could take. Even if you SOMEHOW get bored of the action, all three of those movies that have really good characters and pretty good plots! But I guess if the main character was an annoying fucking blood rag and the plot is nothing but an excuse to show off cameos than it's a masterpiece. (Not mentioning any Deadpool & Wolverines I mean names I mean Deadpool & Wolverine is overrated.) I get the middle of the year has not been good, but that doesn't mean the action movie that comes out is bad. Besides if the problem is action being boring then why the fuck is Terrifier 3 so highly regarded? 

Seriously. How the fuck does Terrifier 3 have twice the Metacritic and Rotten Tomatoes score as this movie?