Speak No Evil Is A Movie That Happened To Me.

I stayed up way too late to watch this. This being the new Blumhouse movie, which is about Creepy James McAvoy inviting a nice family to his house so he can steal their kid and murder them. (Uh... Spoilers.) It's also a remake of a movie from only two years ago. This new takes a more crowd pleasing ending, which is to say it ends happily. (Spoilers again.)

There's a lot to admire about Speak No Evil (2024). For starters, it's well made. The finale was fun and exciting, and very well set up. The wife main character was a bad ass, and I felt like this movie was what The Strangers should have been in certain places. (Especially with the killers having a "we only chose you because you let us" motive.) The acting is pretty good, especially from the kids. This is a movie where James McAvoy acts like a lunatic for the majority of it, and that's always fun to watch. But most of the movie is James and his wife pushing the victim couple further and further out of their comfort zone, seeing how much they can get away with abusing their kid before the normal couple say enough and try to leave. Only then does the victim family get kidnapped and the fun home invasion part happen.

So let's get this out of the way, the reason this isn't a review is the same reason why my rant about Anyone But You wasn't a review. Because I didn't watch the entire second act. The way James and his wife act throughout the entire middle of the movie was much too awkward and uncomfortable for me to sit through. I was getting a panic attack watching the victims contort themselves to avoid a confrontation with these weirdos, I just couldn't take it. I went out and stacked cups for like half an hour before I could go back into the theater. This was at like 2 in the morning too. That doesn't really anything to do with the quality of the movie, just has to do with how stupid I am. 

Now, this dreadful atmosphere is clearly intentional on behalf of the writers and director. You aren't supposed to like James and his wife, you are supposed to feel on edge has they needle the victims. It is a horror movie, part of the experience can be feeling discomfort to some degree. But is it a win in the movie's favor if it made me so uncomfortable I couldn't bare to watch? I honestly don't know. 

Of course, this is all just me. It you can't tell by the fact that I argue with myself in pretty much every review I post, I'm not exactly the most sociable person. I have an extremely hard time dealing with awkward situations and tend to violently reject people who try to influence their will on others, maliciously or not. Plus, child abuse is a topic that is too intense for me, in pretty much any context. I actually can't listen to babies' cry without curling up into a ball, wanting to die. (Especially if the crying goes unaddressed. I hate when horror movies pull that shit of a ghost pretending to cry or a demon baby doing it.)

Anyway, I guess the point of this non-review is just to say: I couldn't stand to watch Speak No Evil (2024). But maybe you can.