By the way, I looked up Madame Web on Google to refresh my memory about the movie, and the first search recommendation is 'What is the point of Madame Web?'.
What's The Movie About?
Cassie Web is an ambulance driver who gains the ability to see the future. She sees that three teenage girls she briefly crossed paths with are going to be murdered by evil Spiderman, and reluctantly tries to protect them.
What I Like.
If you've seen the trailer, you'd know there's a sequence that takes place in a subway. While it looks stupid in the trailer, the actual sequence is tense. The timeline-web thing they use to show Web's powers looks kinda cool, and there's a bit bit where they disrupt the evil Spiderman's wallcrawling with a defibrillator that I thought was clever. The plot isn't terrible which is impressive considering previous Sonyman movies and that they are dealing with future-sight. Even the tribe of spider people don't completely derail the narrative. Adam Scott plays Ben Wyatt Parker, and he's like the only truly nice character in the whole movie. It also wrapped up less than two hours.
What I Didn't Like.
All the acting in this movie sucks. (Goddamn it two movies with Sydney Sweeney in one week cannot be good for my brain.) I'm not sure it's entirely the actors' fault, since Web is written to be a massive bitch the entire movie and all the kids are stupid as fuck, but everyone is incredibly stiff and wooden. The script and dialogue is horrendous. The movie opens with the the birth of the main character, which I also think is also the origin of her powers but honestly the exposition is so sloppy she could have just randomly gotten them after almost dying. Also we flash back to the exact same opening scenes later in the movie. We get "emotional" moments that are oddly placed and are completely unearned. (Yeah, Web will make a great foster mom, especially after she kidnapped all the girls, forced them to hide in the woods, and left them there with no food.) The effects are laughably bad. All of the costumes look fake as shit, it makes Green Lantern look halfway decent. Speaking of which, you might assume watching the trailer that the three girls would become Spiderwomen in the movie. But they don't. All of the shots in the trailer are visions Web gets that don't even happen. The editing in the movie is piss poor as well. Violent car crashes probably shouldn't make me laugh as much as they do in this movie. There are several car chases that they cut super fast and give weird angles to try and hide that the driver was clearly taking it super casual day of filming. The ADR in this movie is shockingly bad. At one point they don't even try to hide that evil Spiderman's lines have been changed after the fact. It looks like an old Godzilla movie. The camera work was nausea inducing, because it keeps spinning around characters and the cuts are quick and nonsensical. I also keep nodding off during the climax, but that may have been because I watched this at 3 in the morning.
Final Summation.
This movie isn't good, obviously. I think everyone has learned that any Sony Spiderman movie that doesn't have Verse in the title is gonna suck, so you don't need me to tell you this. But I was honestly surprised that this wasn't the worst movie I've seen this week. I sort of wish I could get upset and act like this is the worse thing to happen on Valentine's Day since the Massacre, but no. It's just a dumb movie.
Happy Single's Awareness Day everyone.
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